High Pressure Sales

A wee bit of humour for car collectors

This is humourous ad was apparently found on a UK auction site. The exact origin is completely unknown. This article is not meant to poke fun at any particular brand of car nor any particular nationality. However, anyone who has owned a British Car can probably relate to the relentless stabbing that people make towards them.

As much as this pokes fun at the car, it sounds as if it were written by a Brit.

This was sent it by a Club member who has previously owned a number of British Vehicles.

Vehicle Description

Jensen built over 6000 Interceptors, continually developing and debugging the model for nearly ten years until it almost wasn't horrible. Alas, this is an extremely early example, so it's horrible in every conceivable way.
Granted, as the 180th Interceptor ever made, this right-hand-drive '67 Type I could be worse. The first few dozen of these overheating, pig-handling, self-immolating rust buckets came with Vignale-built bodies of such staggeringly poor quality that the ENGLISH wouldn't accept them, which is saying quite a mouthful. Even as it is, this British-built version was apparently made from an alloy of salt, wet newspapers, and tuna cans. The front floors, both sills, most of the exterior front bodywork, and the left doorpost are all shot; the inner front fenders and box sections have taken a similar stroll across the periodic table, as have the lower parts of all four outer fenders. The hood, while fairly free of corrosion, appears to have been run over by a monster truck.

On the upside, the greenhouse and rear clip aren't too bad. The rear suspension points are nice and solid, and the twin-sewer-pipe tube frame--miraculously escaping the usual rust ahead of the firewall that causes the entire front half of these cars to break off and roll away on their own--is totally sound. I can only chalk this up to a liberal coating of Limey lubricants having leaked from the sump and gearbox.

The engine (a Jensen-spec Chrysler 383), transmission (787 Torque-Flite), brakes, and radiator were all supposedly rebuilt by the car's last owner. I half-heartedly buy it regarding the brakes and radiator, which look pretty new. As to the engine, I think he's defined "rebuild" as "a new can of Ford-blue engine paint."

This fine example of how Britain lost its empire comes with good glass all around, working window motors, good (rare Type I) dash and console metal, the pathetic remains of four original Armstrong Selectaride shocks, and a fairly cursory paper trail.

Vehicle Condition

Pretty sorry-ass. But go ahead and email me with any questions, as I love to be reminded of that.

Terms of Sale

For starters, you can get it out of my driveway.